Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Carrier of Dreams


Carrier of this Reality. This was one that was started in my Degree year, and I kept working on it afterwards. It didn't really fit in with the ones I eventually hung, so I just brought it home to work on. Over the following year I came across some things that I wanted to add to it, including the 'You say carrier of disease, I say carrier of this reality', a very cryptic saying given to me by the mother of a boy who died of leukaemia. The other quote on this 'you have seen in the big window ....' etc. is from the Irish writer Walter Macken, who I think is possibly the most gifted wordsmith ever to have come from this country. He's a painter with words.
You see nice images, but also, this painting is about what you don't see .... I think .... I cannot really articulate my own thoughts on this one, so am interested in hearing thoughts from others.

10 years later, looking at this blog post, and with the benefit of distance: Since painting this piece, I have lost two very close and dear friends, and so have a little more insight into what was going through the bereaved mother's mind at the time, and also what the dying boy might have been experiencing.

The first of my friends to die, a woman close to me in age, passed very suddenly due to complications from epilepsy, having hidden her worsening condition from her family. Her passing was not unexpected, nevertheless it was devastating to all who knew her - but as she was someone who fought hard to be independent in all ways, I was in a way happy for her, finally free of the body that was giving her so much grief. I like to think that she has travelled the Solar System, seen all of the known world, and visited a few places we have yet to find. I also like to think she comes back to visit me - on the day after she died, there was a brief but very squally storm by my house, followed by the most glorious double rainbow, which I like to think was her goodbye to me. So every time I see a rainbow now, it's like she's come by for a chat.

The second of my close friends to pass was a beautiful, gentle, wise, creative man who wished nothing more than to make people feel beautiful and happy. He was diagnosed with advanced, aggressive and inoperable cancer and died a few weeks later. I like to think that for him, heaven is his sitting room in his own lovely home, with a fit and healthy body, and an inexhaustible supply of delicious things, especially chocolate eclairs, and that he is watching those he loves on his television to make sure we are okay.

Even though these two friends never met, I like to think of them sitting on his sofa, scoffing down chocolate eclairs, and smiling at me through the television. I know that if they had been friends in this world, they would have adored each other. I like to think they are meeting for coffee and fattening desserts in the next life - would be heaven for both of them. 

1 comment:

Lette said...

I like it, I like the blue presenting a calmness to the overall paintings mood, the group of people to me indicates that we all feel similar feelings moods, but we articulate them differently. nice one :) works well